Just a regular old day - Jowaje Philosophy

i saw a girl today.
She was younger than me.
And man, She's had some rain in Her life.
Her body is failing.
Her soul was tortured.
And She wasn't there for either one.

i had to sit back and say, "vee, you've been Blessed."

i walked outside in the Rain tonight.
it was by choice.
it was cold, dark, the trees above me, and the cold drops falling randomly over me
and everything else.

and every once in a while a sheet of lightning would echo out around me.
i thought of the Ancestors and felt just a small part of what They felt.
and even thought of a Homeless Man I'd seen not long ago.
just a tiny, very tiny glimpse into just a regular old day for Them.

and i had to sit back and say, "vee, you've been Blessed."

i feel so small. the things i thought i wanted in life seem so trivial right now.

so small, and to some they truly are and may always be.

and perhaps tomorrow, for me they will be big again.

but it took a couple of random things for me to stop and sit back
and remember to feel the good that is in my life right now; today.

to revel in my happiness and joy and peace.
i could be anybody else, any one of the people who has had it harder than me.

but i'm me.
and i'm Thankful for my Regular Old Days.

so i want to say...Today was one of 'em.
Thank You.

then i said goodnight to my Son.
we had a real good day today.
we did a little dreaming. and a little talking.
He's going to have surgery in the morning.

And all I can say is, "Lord please bless

and watch over Him as You've done for me."

Just Gotta Have a Man! - A Spoken Word piece, by Vee

...So Speak it With Rhythm;-)

Girl,

Why you always acting like you just gotta have a man?!!!

What is it about you that says alone you can't stand?
I mean,

don't get me wrong...

Right now I'm single too and sometimes I feel a little lonely,

But I know I loooove me some me.

And when I find that special one,

I'll make him my one and only.

But until then,

I refuse to run behind,

someone not even worth my time,

tryin' to use me or take what's mine,

and think it's his God-given right

...just cause God made him fine.

Believe me, what I have is awesome,

and definitely worth preserving.

Not to be given away so easily

to someone so undeserving.

So whatcha think 'bout what you got?

Is it worth a dozen roses, or a single forget-me-not?

And tell me, what values are you really teaching your daughter?

You're not taking care of yourself and your house ain't in order.

She's learning from you

and at the same time raising herself

And you want to know what HER problem is?

H#!!

Ok, so why is it okay

that he hit you last night?

Eye still black. Lip "swole" up!

But I guess that's just alright,

huh?

Why is it okay

that you're alone this holiday,

while your man is having the time of his life

celebrating at home with his kids and...his wife?

Why is it okay

for him to hurt your kids and treat them bad?

And you wondering why they're making bad grades in school

and always looking sad.

whew!

And last, but not least...

Why is it okay

for him to talk to you like a child?

For him to belittle you and call you names

and wonder why you don't smile.

humh!

But you should be smiling

and you could be smiling!

Drop that &^(%##!!,

pick up the phone and start dialing...

Your loved ones, your friends,

the ones you trust to be there thru thick & thin.

You want a new life?

You want to be happy?

Then this is where you must begin.

Think support system, think sympathetic ears.

Who will listen and won't laugh at my tears?

Who will allow me to speak it out loud and release my fears?

And please take some time between this one and the next.

Every guy I hear you mention, you're calling him your ex.

Spend some time with you just getting to know yourself.

You've got to be confident and comfortable in your own shell.

Find a hobby.

Do you even know what it is you like to do?

Oh, I get it.

It's been so long that you've forgotten what pleases you.

Ok, so join a book club.

Take down a book from the ole dusty shelf.

Get back to loving your kids,

and honey get back to loving yourself!

Occupy your mind.

Fill your thoughts with sunshine.

Invite your kids to share with you their hopes and dreams,

and how they spend their time.

Plant a flower garden.

Dig in the soil and the dirt.

You know there are many hidden treasures

here on God's green earth.

Find someone or something else to give life and light to

besides that guy who so "thoughtfully" hurt you.

Drop them bags like Erykah told you to.

Be true to yourself and simply do you.

But forgive him

and all his deeds just the same,

So you can take back your power and

reclaim your true name.

QUEEN!

Stop being his victim of shame.

And don't forget, exercise is always good,

especially if you'd like to shed a few pounds.

Try Yoga classes to relieve the stress.

You'll start to have more ups than downs.

Now,

You've worked on your mental

and you've worked on your physical,

so complete your circle, sis,

and work on your spiritual.

Before you know it,

you'll feel like a different person.

Oh, you'll still be you,

but just a better version.

Then...

You'll be ready for a partner.

Not just a man or any man,

but someone you can actually start to:

Share your dreams with,

watch TV and laugh with,

comfort and make love to,

or simply relax and chill with.

Let down your guard and cry on,

someone you can depend on

to see you through the tough times

or guide you through a storm.

And sweetie,

the men you will then attract

will make them sorry Kats look so slack.

Cause they will be kind, and gentle, and sweet.

And you won't have to ask them to watch your back.

So what about me?

I know so much, where's my guy?

Well I'm truly not a hypocrite,

so I will not lie.

Right now I'm still working on me.

Trying to be the best me I can be.

Not yet done with my metamorphosis,

But he should be along shortly is my guess;-)

So again I ask you...

Girl,
Why you always acting like you just gotta have a man?
What is it about yourself that you just can't stand?
I mean,
don't get me wrong...
Right now I'm single and sometimes feel a a wee bit lonely,
But I know I looooove me some VEE.
And when I find that special one,
I'll make him my one and only.

How's that for some Jowaje Philosophy?

Peace,

love,

Light,

& Self Respect My Beautiful Sisters,

Vee

Miss Nappturality and Me

Everyone makes history everyday with every day lived and every breath taken. But not everyone gets a chance to leave a noted mark on the world. This is what Miss Nappturality has done for me. As one of the very first contestants to ever compete for the this title, I was able to be a part of history in a tangible and memorable way. And let me just say that the experience was priceless.

I've actually never competed for anything before - at least not on such a large scale. Let's see, I competed in a 4-H competition in the fourth grade and won first place. I had cheerleader try-outs in the seventh grade and made it - 1 of the only 2 seventh graders to get picked, I might add. I tried out for marching band in the eighth grade and won a spot - most times eight graders become alternates. I know, all these are pretty trivial, right?

In college I had to compete to get into the nursing program. Having room for 40 students only, the program was very competitive. Needless to say I got in. But this was no great feat either. Having sat out of college for 3 years, I was pretty eager to make a better future for myself. So as you can see, I'm not a very competitive person by nature. I guess I'd been too afraid of failing until now.

Competing for Miss Nappturality was the first time I ever really competed for something.

I didn't look at someone else winning as a failure for me, though. Hindsight has lead me to believe that this was most likely my first failure, because it was the first time I've ever had the courage to try something as big as this, and especially while the whole world had been given the opportunity to watch. So I really do see it as a step forward for me and as a true success. I learned so much about so many things during those 10 weeks. And I learned a lot about me.

All the contestants were so beautiful. Any one of them could have been Miss Nappturality, because each and every one of them was so unique. No stereotypical, cookie-cutter ladies here! I am proud to have been one of them. I was also proud of the fact that I was holding my own with these young women. Hoping to NOT sound vain here, because it's not my intention, but here I was almost 40 years old, but I was just as vibrant and my skin was just as flawless as these ladies in their twenties. Yeah, I definitely think that was something I should be able to toot my own horn about ;-). And I actually prided myself on not wearing any makeup in the beginning of the competition. That was until I figured out I was going about it the wrong way. You see, in the beginning I thought that it was not only about natural hair, but also about just being NATURAL!

I really appreciated when the judges began to give us feedback on each challenge. Dee, of Nappturality.com, was the Paula Abdul of the competition. She kept it sweet and encouraging always. Wilbur, fashion designer and owner of SKWilbur.com, was the Simon Cowell. He kept it real, and I mean real! The first bad critique I got from him made me shift it into fifth gear quick, fast, and in a hurry. But I have to admit, I was a little disappointed that Jasmine, owner of Eden Body Works, didn't join the other judges in giving all of us weekly feedback on the challenges. I mean we were competing to be the Eden Body Works Spokesmodel.

The challenges were quite challenging, to say the least. They were time consuming and pretty demanding, but Going-Natural made sure we had all the products, supplies, and accessories we needed to get through them all. And in the end we were able to keep them. That was definitely a nice surprise and added bonus.

The Miss Nappturality Contest was a very needed beauty pageant. To give our people a contest of their own, and let us shine, and let us celebrate our natural beauty was not only a brilliant concept, which with a lot of hard work was birthed into fruition, but it has also paved a path to a new road of higher understanding, not only for the black community, but for all the other diverse cultures making up this melting pot called America. I believe it was Zavi who admitted she didn't really know why she first entered Miss NP, and what exactly she expected to gain from it. She stated she later found her answers during the competition. I found that to be an extraordinary statement and a true testament that this was in fact a learning journey.

I walked away from Miss NP with a new sense of self and a new sense of beauty. I've been fortunate, because I've felt comfortable in my own skin for a while now, but today I can truly say that I feel comfortable in my own skin and in my own hair! I am so grateful.

Sarah, Erica, Zavi - you ladies are beautiful and fabulous! Can't wait to see what's in store for you.

Tiana, not only are you beautiful and fabulous, but you are the new face of Eden Body Works and MISS NAPPTURALITY 2008.

Congratulations. You rocked it!
and I wish you much success.


Peace, Love, & Light,

Vee

And here's my journey with Miss NP:

Co-Creating Our Reality! --Lilou Mace & Friends

Hey you guys and welcome to The 100 Day Reality Challenge!
Just wanted to tell you about some wonderful friends of mine and what they're doing. They are the co-founders of the now phenomenal '100 Day Reality Challenge.'
Meet Sandy, Laura, & Lilou.

Co-Creating Our Reality

These woman are absolutely awesome! They are challenging and inspiring others to challenge themselves and find their own inspiration in order to take charge and become active participants in creating their own realities for today and tomorrow. If you've been following this blog or any other blog of mine, you know I believe in self-empowerment. I believe in the power of believing in yourself. And I believe in you. "It doesn't matter what you're doing today, but tomorrow is up to you! So live like today is your last, dream like you have forever, and work on fulfilling the promises you've made to yourself! You will be surprised by what you will accomplish".--Vee Jefferson (Jowaje Philosophy)

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**Start Your Season with

Lilou on Nov. 19th!

Save the date and start your challenge at the same time as one of the co-founders of The 100 Day Reality Challenge! Click here for Lilou's 100 Day Challenge home page. If you have questions, you can reach Lilou directly by email: lilou.mace@gmail.com

If you have been procrastinating, now is the time to get started. So grab your web cam and get started on this amazing journey that will empower you daily!

WHAT YOU NEED TO GET STARTED

1. Watch "The 100 Day Challenge video for Dummies" by Lilou . Click here for video on how to get started
2. Create your YouTUBE account at http://www.youtube.com/
3. Get a web cam
4. Set your goals for the next 100 Days
5. Select your practices Click here for more details
6. Record Day 1 video (on November 19th - if you want to get started with Lilou)

7. Add your daily or weekly videos to The 100 Day Challenge YouTube group page for other participants to view and support you.

Need more help with set-up or inspiration?

The women of CCOR have been getting so many inquiries on exactly what they did during their first 3 seasons that they've created an amazing tool to help you in your next 100 Days.
They have just completed a comprehensive, 130 page workbook to guide you through your 100 Day Reality Challenge. Here you will find a complete list and full descriptions of all of their practices and ideas to get you started, including journaling prompts, inspiring daily quotes and a daily log/journal to track your entire experience.

Wow! Now that's quite a deal.

Click here if you would like to download the 130 page workbook immediately and start Co-Creating right away!

But remember, participation is completely free.

You DO NOT have to purchase the book in order to participate.

~

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Attitudes of a Co-Creator & Daily Affirmations

• I am a Co-Creator, I transform my life
• I am a Co-Creator, I inspire others
• I am a Co-Creator, I create wealth and abundance
• I am a Co-Creator, I expand my awareness
• I am a Co-Creator, I am confident in my ability to design my life
• I am a Co-Creator, I manifest
• I am a Co-Creator, I love
• I am a Co-Creator, I inspire
• I am a Co-Creator, I lead
• I am a Co-Creator, I contribute
• I am a Co-Creator, I dream
• I am a Co-Creator, I serve
• I am a Co-Creator, I am grateful
• I am a Co-Creator, I Shine
• I am a Co-Creator, I create my life
• I am a Co-Creator, I play
• I am a Co-Creator, I laugh
• I am a Co-Creator, I deserve to live the life of my dreams
• I am a Co-Creator, I am worthy
• I am a Co-Creator, I am prosperous
• I am a Co-Creator, I give and receive
• I am a Co-Creator, I powerfully complete The 100 Day Reality Challenge

PARTICIPANTS UPDATES: Megan - You Rock!

Check out this Co-Creator....

Megan's youtube 100 Day Challenge home page.

Megan was featured in Succeed Magazine as the

co-creator of the month. Her amazing story is now

covered Internationally.

Click here for full article on the 100 Day Challenge

as well as Megan's story.

If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming issue of Succeed Magazine, send us your story and how the 100 day challenge has impacted your life! You can also email them to: succeed@cocreatingourreality.com.


Congratulations to all of you that have 'completed powerfully' the 100 Day Challenge.

You are a true inspiration of what is possible in life!

Well done!

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Click here to listen to some testimonials on Day 100 *

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Interested in Contacting Sandy, Laura or Lilou?

email them at info@cocreatingourreality.com

Or visit their web page http://www.cocreatingourreality.com/

~

~

Peace, Love, Light, & Inspiration,

~

Vee, The Eternal Optimist

Couldn't Sleep...

Couldn't Sleep... written on 10/02/02 @ 0625

As I lay my head sideways upon his chest,
nestled safely in the warmth and strength of his bosom,
salty tears snake across my face
-slithering, burning, searing my sensitive flesh.

I sob, I dab, I wipe.
My finger, the pillow case, the sheets.
But my muffled sniffling is in vain!
I don't want him to know I'm crying.
Oh but he does know.

He sees the dark cloud encircling me even in this darkness.
He senses my sorrow in the air.
He saw me pray.
He feels it in the nonrhythmic rhythm of my breathing
-and the uncontrolled twitching of my body.
Thought I was being quiet,
yet he hears me even in this silence.

He holds me, caresses me.
Not exactly sure what to do,
but instinctively does what I need him to.

He holds me, squeezes me, caresses me
'til my breathing once again matches his.
Never once uttering a word.
Never once searching for the tears,
he gave me peace, reassurance, and serenity.
He gave me him.
He gave me love!

Job well done,
he rolls over but continues to give reassuring pats.
He lays his leg next to mine, touching
'til he slumbers off to sleep.

I need to write this down!
If I get up will I wake him?

I'm thinking about you Momma,
remembering this night three years ago.
Remembering my thoughts, my feelings, your words, your face, your eyes.
Watching you. So strong.
Praying for you to softly slumber off to sleep,
but secretly wishing you could stay with me.

Momma I love you,

But maybe now I can fall asleep too.

Who said nappy was bad?

In the wake of the infamous Imus statement about the "nappy headed hos," new reasons for black women to become discontent with themselves and their body images were awakened. I'm a black woman, and my first question was, what exactly are they mad about? The fact that he called them nappy, or that this total stranger, who knew absolutely no more about their character than they knew about his before his statement, was calling them "hos?"

For the sake of humor, people - white and black alike - sometime use name-calling as their first device to color a story funnier than it would otherwise be. Now I'm not saying it's always appropriate, or always nice, but it does happen.

The most ironic part to me is that Imus is probably going to leave the whole ordeal bigger and better than ever. That is the American way isn't it? To be able to make the most out of and possibly even profit from a negative situation. Sure he may have lost his job, but believe me, we have not heard the last of him. Let's not let Imus have the victory all to himself.

I didn't leave that experience thinking that either of these wonderful, beautiful, and talented young women were in fact a whore. Imus didn't personally know any of them. But the truth is, the world does consider our hair to be nappy.
So what?
There is a royal and majestic aura in our naps and locks. So why not embrace it?

Hi. My name is Vee and I'm nappy and I'm proud!


But let me tell you, I found a sister who is not only educating others on appreciating the naturalness of black hair, but is also capitalizing on the beauty of her nappiness. She is Ms. Mireille Liong-A-Kong, author, speaker, host of GoingNatural.com, and founder of The Miss Nappturality Beauty Competition.

Going Natural

The website http://going-natural.com/, created by Liong, celebrates the journey of women going back to their nappy roots. She is also the author of the book, Going Natural - How to fall in Love with Nappy Hair.

Mireille's Bio

Mireille grew up in Suriname and studied in the Netherlands. She left the city of Amsterdam for Brooklyn, New York in 2002. Holding a Master's Degree in Computer Science, she worked as an Implementation Manager in the Department of Prof. Services at an Internet Company before the big boom. An active player in corporate America, she too subscribed to the idea that she had to look the part in order to fit in and belong. And that meant straightening her hair. However, bad experiences with hair straightening chemicals motivated her to gather all the information she could on African Hair. What she learned not only freed her from herself, but liberated her forever. She then decided to teach others.

In 2003, Liong rewrote history by successfully debuting with the first Dutch book about African hair care. The first edition was sold out within two months. Today the website http://kroeshaar.com/, which was launched along with the book, is the most popular site on the topic of African hair in Dutch speaking countries like Holland and Suriname.

In 2004, Mireille self-published her second book, Going Natural - How to fall in Love with Nappy Hair and launched the site, going-natural.com. When she realized natural women didn't have a magazine of their own, she decided to turn the website into an Interactive I-magazine.

Personal word from Vee to Mireille:

Now that's what I'm talking about.

You go girl!

I'm lovin' it.

Peace, Love, & Light everyone,

Vee